Comments on: Transformation http://bibliomom.wordpress.com/2007/10/17/transformation/ Thu, 12 Nov 2009 01:42:00 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: davidrochester http://bibliomom.wordpress.com/2007/10/17/transformation/#comment-588 davidrochester Mon, 22 Oct 2007 20:14:00 +0000 http://bibliomom.wordpress.com/2007/10/17/transformation/#comment-588 It totally depends on the guy. Any man with genuine emotional depth gradually comes to see the woman he loves as the standard by which he judges other women, in all ways. It's important, IMO, to hold out for a relationship in which this is possible on both ends of the equation . . . that the more you know each other, the more beautiful you seem to each other. Because, dear Biblio, even if you were what you considered to be "perfect," things change, inevitably. You don't want a guy who is attracted to your perfect self. You want one who is attracted to your whole self. There are men out there who are capable of this. I am frequently fortunate enough to have them as clients, and have seen many genuinely loving, happy, and passionate relationships between people who don't fit Madison Avenue's exact idea of "beautiful." There is no reason why a guy wouldn't find you funny and nice, and also incredibly desirable. The funny and nice might or might not be what he notices first. If he's sensible and a gentleman, even if he does think you're ungodly hot, he won't say so right up front, because that would be inappropriate. You have more to worry about, IMO, from a guy who is too sexually forthright than from one who appears to be attracted to you for other reasons. Chances are that the "other reasons" guy is also sexually attracted to you, but wants something more real, and so is playing the game by different rules. It totally depends on the guy. Any man with genuine emotional depth gradually comes to see the woman he loves as the standard by which he judges other women, in all ways. It’s important, IMO, to hold out for a relationship in which this is possible on both ends of the equation . . . that the more you know each other, the more beautiful you seem to each other. Because, dear Biblio, even if you were what you considered to be “perfect,” things change, inevitably. You don’t want a guy who is attracted to your perfect self. You want one who is attracted to your whole self.

There are men out there who are capable of this. I am frequently fortunate enough to have them as clients, and have seen many genuinely loving, happy, and passionate relationships between people who don’t fit Madison Avenue’s exact idea of “beautiful.” There is no reason why a guy wouldn’t find you funny and nice, and also incredibly desirable. The funny and nice might or might not be what he notices first. If he’s sensible and a gentleman, even if he does think you’re ungodly hot, he won’t say so right up front, because that would be inappropriate. You have more to worry about, IMO, from a guy who is too sexually forthright than from one who appears to be attracted to you for other reasons. Chances are that the “other reasons” guy is also sexually attracted to you, but wants something more real, and so is playing the game by different rules.

]]> By: bibliomom http://bibliomom.wordpress.com/2007/10/17/transformation/#comment-586 bibliomom Mon, 22 Oct 2007 20:01:26 +0000 http://bibliomom.wordpress.com/2007/10/17/transformation/#comment-586 You can call it the non-shithead theory of beauty as held by non-crappy headed men! You can call it the non-shithead theory of beauty as held by non-crappy headed men!

]]> By: Mr. Hand http://bibliomom.wordpress.com/2007/10/17/transformation/#comment-585 Mr. Hand Mon, 22 Oct 2007 19:56:33 +0000 http://bibliomom.wordpress.com/2007/10/17/transformation/#comment-585 You are attractive. He'll be attracted to you physically too so the whole point is really moot. I answered at greater length on my blog. And, jules: you seem to subscribe to my theory of beauty exactly! Wooie. Maybe it isn't just mine. Maybe I should call it the non-shithead theory of beauty. You are attractive. He’ll be attracted to you physically too so the whole point is really moot. I answered at greater length on my blog.

And, jules: you seem to subscribe to my theory of beauty exactly! Wooie. Maybe it isn’t just mine. Maybe I should call it the non-shithead theory of beauty.

]]> By: jules http://bibliomom.wordpress.com/2007/10/17/transformation/#comment-583 jules Mon, 22 Oct 2007 18:59:53 +0000 http://bibliomom.wordpress.com/2007/10/17/transformation/#comment-583 It depends on the guy. I once dated this girl who was a Miss Texas contestant a few years before we met. Gorgeous girl (to this day i don't know what she was doing with me) who was a size zero. I didn't know there was such a size. Anyway, she turned about to be one of the biggest bitches I'd ever met. She treated people awful. Waitstaff were always getting berated when we went out. Her co-workers were miserable and as I learned and saw how awful her personality was, the "uglier" she began to appear in my eyes. As i've gotten older it's become more important to me the depth of a woman's personality and spirit which adds to the physical beauty she may already possess. . Of course this is coming from a guy with Barney Rubble feet so what do I know. :) Hey, don't sweat it so much B-mom. You're gorgeous. It depends on the guy. I once dated this girl who was a Miss Texas contestant a few years before we met. Gorgeous girl (to this day i don’t know what she was doing with me) who was a size zero. I didn’t know there was such a size.

Anyway, she turned about to be one of the biggest bitches I’d ever met. She treated people awful. Waitstaff were always getting berated when we went out. Her co-workers were miserable and as I learned and saw how awful her personality was, the “uglier” she began to appear in my eyes.

As i’ve gotten older it’s become more important to me the depth of a woman’s personality and spirit which adds to the physical beauty she may already possess. . Of course this is coming from a guy with Barney Rubble feet so what do I know. :)

Hey, don’t sweat it so much B-mom. You’re gorgeous.

]]> By: bibliomom http://bibliomom.wordpress.com/2007/10/17/transformation/#comment-582 bibliomom Mon, 22 Oct 2007 17:15:26 +0000 http://bibliomom.wordpress.com/2007/10/17/transformation/#comment-582 So my question is are guys attracted to funny and nice? So what if a girl is funny and nice and charming but not perfect in the body side of things. I guess this is a bit related to the comment I just left on your blog post about the baby weight. What if I really want to impress a guy? A guy worth impressing should be impressed with my good qualities right? But what if I really want him to be attracted to me to? Of course as you know I don't have the best self image of myself and I don't see what about me a guy would be particularly attracted to other than my personality. I'm not the prettiest or the most attractive of women and there are a ton of attractive women out there for a guy to be attracted to. I really want a guy to like my personality and be attracted to me. I have such a strict idea of what that is though. A size 6. To be a size 6 I need to starve myself. I can do that but then I'm no fun to be around. I'm just thinking about stuff like this way too much lately. So my question is are guys attracted to funny and nice? So what if a girl is funny and nice and charming but not perfect in the body side of things. I guess this is a bit related to the comment I just left on your blog post about the baby weight. What if I really want to impress a guy? A guy worth impressing should be impressed with my good qualities right? But what if I really want him to be attracted to me to? Of course as you know I don’t have the best self image of myself and I don’t see what about me a guy would be particularly attracted to other than my personality. I’m not the prettiest or the most attractive of women and there are a ton of attractive women out there for a guy to be attracted to. I really want a guy to like my personality and be attracted to me. I have such a strict idea of what that is though. A size 6. To be a size 6 I need to starve myself. I can do that but then I’m no fun to be around. I’m just thinking about stuff like this way too much lately.

]]> By: Mr. Hand http://bibliomom.wordpress.com/2007/10/17/transformation/#comment-581 Mr. Hand Mon, 22 Oct 2007 16:29:18 +0000 http://bibliomom.wordpress.com/2007/10/17/transformation/#comment-581 Oh yeah. I forgot to mention, my sweetie had her toes done yesterday. Weird thing that. Fingers too. What does one call it when someone gets their toes done? Is it a toe job or a foot job? How about their fingers? Oh yeah. I forgot to mention, my sweetie had her toes done yesterday. Weird thing that. Fingers too. What does one call it when someone gets their toes done? Is it a toe job or a foot job? How about their fingers?

]]> By: Mr. Hand http://bibliomom.wordpress.com/2007/10/17/transformation/#comment-580 Mr. Hand Mon, 22 Oct 2007 16:27:55 +0000 http://bibliomom.wordpress.com/2007/10/17/transformation/#comment-580 OK. I said that completely wrong. Your best features are that you are funny (though I also appreciate that you recognize funny things and have a lovely laugh) and you are nice (at least you've always been nice to me which makes me think you are nice to anyone who isn't unspeakably rude first). And, that's why I admire you. Are you going to be funny about the word 'admire' in the same way you are about the word 'relationship'? Do I have to replace it with 'adore' or is there some other word that works better? OK. I said that completely wrong.

Your best features are that you are funny (though I also appreciate that you recognize funny things and have a lovely laugh) and you are nice (at least you’ve always been nice to me which makes me think you are nice to anyone who isn’t unspeakably rude first).

And, that’s why I admire you. Are you going to be funny about the word ‘admire’ in the same way you are about the word ‘relationship’? Do I have to replace it with ‘adore’ or is there some other word that works better?

]]> By: pmousse http://bibliomom.wordpress.com/2007/10/17/transformation/#comment-577 pmousse Sun, 21 Oct 2007 23:21:45 +0000 http://bibliomom.wordpress.com/2007/10/17/transformation/#comment-577 I'm very jealous of the attention your feet are getting. I, too, always tell people that my feet are my best feature. I have prehensile toes. I can pick things up with them, and write with them if absolutely necessary (which it never is). Nevertheless, I do think yours are awfully nice, too. Well done on the red, and on the life in general. I’m very jealous of the attention your feet are getting. I, too, always tell people that my feet are my best feature. I have prehensile toes. I can pick things up with them, and write with them if absolutely necessary (which it never is).

Nevertheless, I do think yours are awfully nice, too. Well done on the red, and on the life in general.

]]> By: Average Jane http://bibliomom.wordpress.com/2007/10/17/transformation/#comment-564 Average Jane Sat, 20 Oct 2007 05:25:09 +0000 http://bibliomom.wordpress.com/2007/10/17/transformation/#comment-564 Indeed it was BRILLIANT. Does it matter that he didn't get it? Just a little sad maybe. Indeed it was BRILLIANT. Does it matter that he didn’t get it? Just a little sad maybe.

]]> By: Mr. Hand http://bibliomom.wordpress.com/2007/10/17/transformation/#comment-563 Mr. Hand Sat, 20 Oct 2007 04:31:41 +0000 http://bibliomom.wordpress.com/2007/10/17/transformation/#comment-563 Woooie! Nice feet jules! I quite like the guitar prop. In fact, I'm jealous. I wish I had a nice guitar. Woooie! Nice feet jules! I quite like the guitar prop. In fact, I’m jealous. I wish I had a nice guitar.

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