True/False Meme

This week, in honor of Thanksgiving, I’m giving my readers something to be thankful for. I’m taking up the torch of the Meme. Mymy Meme. If these Meme’s are out in the hinterland of interland I haven’t seen them as Meme’s but then I lead a sheltered life and I don’t get out much either.

I don’t know if you can call something a Meme if noone tagged you and if you aren’t going to tag anyone else, nor do you expect anyone to care or want to do it. Given the fact that this is my blog and I sort of thought this up (someone told me that they had to do this as a meeting ice breaker and I thought that was a neat idea) and I can damn well do whatever I want to do so I’m going to call this a Meme.

Listed are five items. Some are true true about me and some items that are false about me. Have fun.

1. After the c-section delivery of my beloved second daughter there was a boiler explosion in the hospital that I was in and we were ordered to evacuate to heated ambulances. I carried my hours old infant to the stairwell. I stood there thinking to myself, “I’m not supposed to do stairs”. The lights and alarms were going off and the staff were running around crazily trying to evacuate all of the patients in the hospital and I stood on at the top of the stairs not sure if my post surgical self could make it down carrying a baby. (It seems that the nurses were more concerned about the patients who couldn’t walk and that was understandable) I had taken two slow and painful steps with my daughter down the stairwell when I met a fireman in full regalia who informed all of us that we could return to our rooms and that the problem was being taken care of. I still wonder if that was a sign of things to come. I suppose that in a poetic way evacuation is a metaphor for child birth.

2. Once when I was married I wanted to spice things up a bit for the two of us. I put together a “catholic school girl” uniform and waited for the right moment. One day he and I happened to be home alone. Our daughter was at his parents house and I figured, “No time like the present”. It was close to lunch when he informed me that he was going to run to town and get something to eat. When he was gone I put on the outfit and made sure that I was seated on the kitchen table when he walked in the door. I was expecting him to walk in the door and come over instantly and carry me off to the bedroom. Instead he looked at me and nodded then turned to the microwave. “I’m really hungry” he informed me and then proceeded to warm up his frozen gas station burrito. I hopped off the kitchen table and went and sat on the sofa while he sat eating his burrito in the same place where my scantily clad bottom was just sitting. Being beat out by a frozen gas station burrito doesn’t do much for a girls self esteem.

3. E. E. Cummings is one of my favorite poets. When my oldest daughter was 3 and after I had regained my pre-baby body back after a lot of work I wanted to do something to make me feel sexy. I thought about a belly button ring but I changed my mind when I realized eventually I just might want another baby and decided to go for the obligatory lower back tattoo. So I took one of my favorite poems to the tattoo artist and had the following line tattooed there.

I like my body when it is with your body. It is so quite a new thing.

 

4. My Mom died from complications from diabetes. She was in end stage renal failure for over a year and went to dialysis a minimum of three times a week. The dialysis unit that she want to was 45 minutes away from where she lived. I wanted to see if I might be a match for her to do a kidney transplant. I knew that due to some of her other heath issues that she might not be a good recipient but I wanted to see anyway. I decided to have a conversation with my then husband about exploring the possibility of my being a potential donor. He was against it. I was upset and he had been quiet for sometime when he then said, “Well do you think your parents would be in for a fair trade. Your kidney for breast implants?”.

5. One time when my beloved oldest daughter was two and a half she and I went to Hell. McDonald’s Playplace. First off if you haven’t been there don’t go. This is a place where your children meander through screaming with a bunch of pants wetting, snot nosed, obnoxious other peoples children. I admit it wasn’t a brilliant idea and I was remiss the minutes we found a table but at the time I felt that this was going to be a good experience. After one “chicken” nugget she wanted to go explore. I watched her carefully trying to follow her every move and then I lost her. I couldn’t see her. I yelled her name repeatedly. I sent other kids to look for her. Then I made a decision. I’d set forth in the tubes to rescue and recover my child. Yeah, not the best idea I’ve ever had. I was to the top of the tube set when I turned to wiggle into another of the labyrinthine tubes and I felt a snap in my back. Pain coursed through my body. If the scream wasn’t enough to terrify the children my yelling, “OW, OW, OMG” all the way back out must have. I came out to find my precious fruit o’ loins seated at a booth and off we went to the emergency room to get Mommy a muscle relaxant and pain medication.